“Marie, are you in here?”
“Shhhh… I’m meditating. Go away.”
Charming. I thought, closing the shed door and hurrying back to the warmth of the kitchen. I took a sip of her unwanted tea. Why she insisted on going out there at all hours was beyond me.
“I feel more at one with nature” she’d said the first time I’d found her there.
Then it happened. The security light flicked back on to reveal Marie tearing around the garden furiously brushing herself down. Her spider dance.
“I need a light in there” she muttered stomping past.
I couldn’t see her for tears.
_____________________________________
PHOTO PROMPT © Victor and Sarah Potter
Word Count: 102 (4 less than my initial post thanks to Sandra!)
I wrote this as part of the Friday Fictioneers challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. The idea is to write a short story (just 100 words) based on the photo prompt provided.
To join in the fun visit HERE.
Thanks for reading x
I imagine those were tears of laughter.
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Yep – not enough words to give you the clutched belly and hoots of laughter as further clues 🙂
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It was fairly obvious.
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If the spider had dropped inside her clothes, the dance would have been altogether more spectacular. Well done for trying to get the word count down. That was some reduction from 134 to 106. Incidentally, I rely on use of the present participle when I’m trying to snip those irritating extra words out. (….closing the shed door before hurrying back… and ‘stomping past’ )
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Thanks Sandra… great tips! I may even go tweak it now 😀
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Brilliant, very funny. A little snippet of life x
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Oh no! Who wouldn’t hate an interruption when they are meditating?! And a spider at that! I can quite picture the scene. Poor Marie! I think she would need a new spot now.
Great story, Anna.
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Marie is not so at one with nature as she wishes 🙂
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That’s what tickled her husband so much 😃
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Tears of laughter? Marie made me laugh, anyway.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Not so much with nature, eh? Nicely done.
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Abrupt way to end a meditation session but at least the husband got a good laugh and that is probably more beneficial to health than what she was doing.
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Dear Anna,
I didn’t see the story before you trimmed it so I’d say you did it well. I guess that spider cut into her meditation time. 😉 I could see the narrator laughing. Made me smile.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I only replaced ‘as I hurried’ with ‘hurrying’ and ‘as she stomped’ with ‘stomping’ thanks to the lovely Sandra’s suggestion. I don’t like being over the word count! So doesn’t massively alter the read or the sense of the story 😃
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Thanks for reading and commenting
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Tears of laughter, right? Or I didn’t get the story at all 🙂 Loved it.
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Yes
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You made me smile, Anna. I loved the expression “spider dance”!
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Thanks for the grin! A delightful little tale.
Click to read my FriFic!
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Thanks for the belly laugh. I have a very good imagination 🙂
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You’re welcome! Delighted it made you laugh 😆
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Giggles…Love this!
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Funny! Well done.
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I couldn’t see her for tears. Best, best, best, line. I’m still smiling Anna.
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Where I’m from, this is a common phrase in anecdotes 😃 Glad it made you smile 👍
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This was great, Anna. I can just picture it too…
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I have so much more to learn when it comes to flash fiction, I’m glad I can follow your work. I nominated you today on Mystery Blogger Awards, if you fancy taking a part 🙂
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What does this involve? I’ve not heard of it.
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Just posting little something about yourself and ask some questions other bloggers you nominate, to spread out more blogs that might otherwise not have many followers and visitors and increase traffic.
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I’ve just read your post which has answered my question 😃 Is there a tome limit?
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I don’t think so, if you like do it in your own time, I’m excited to see your answers 😊
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Great story. I hate the Spider Dance, but know it well.
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